


Death is Returning Home

by goldenambedo



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), DreamSMP - Freeform, Exile, Gen, Ghost TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Suicide, l'manberg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenambedo/pseuds/goldenambedo
Summary: Tommy the ghost doesn't remember much about his life before he turned grey. Luckily, his older brother Wilbur is there with him to remind him of who his family is.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 56
Kudos: 1246





	1. Death's Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> All based on the characters they portray within the DreamSMP storyline, not the people themselves :)

The second he opened his eyes, Tommy noticed that something was off. It wasn't a bad thing, but something was definitely different. He couldn't pinpoint it. Surrounded by orange, he felt warm and safe, so what was there to complain about really? Sure, all he could see was orange, and he didn't know where he was, and he was pretty sure he wasn't breathing, but he was warm. He was floating and there were ethereal bubbles floating around him, and it was quiet. Looking closer at the orange, he noticed that it looked red in some spots. Strange.

"Hello, child." A voice startled him out of his reverie. He couldn't tell where it came from, it sounded like it was all around him and within him. He looked around anyway, and eventually spotted the figure walking toward him.

They were unidentifiable, face shadowed by a large black hood they wore and body seemingly covered all over in a draped fabric. It was all black, so black that the light from the warm orange around them didn't reflect at all. The black seemed to absorb any light that shone on it.

"Uh, hi. Who are you?" Tommy blurted out, and despite being unable to see the character's face, he knew they smiled at that.

"I am Death." They stated factually, and Tommy blanched for a moment. Wait. That means that he's...

"I'm dead?" He whispered.

"I am slightly shocked by it as well, child. You are ahead of your life's schedule. We were not supposed to meet for many moons."

Tommy didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't. He let his eyes falter from looking at Death's dark figure, and went back to watching the orange. There was something mesmerising and familiar about it.

"I must ask you a question before we continue. It is one I ask every soul after they passed. Where would you like to go?"

"What do you- What do you mean, where would I like to go? I don't even- I don't even know what happened to me." He confessed. It felt like he was missing too much to make a decision like that, whatever it meant.

"You are missing pieces to your life, now. I cannot return them all to you, but I can show you how you died. And then you must decide whether you stay or move on."

Tommy nodded, and suddenly the patch of orange he was staring into morphed into a scene that felt familiar. _Chirp played in the background as he sat on a beach, Ghostbur and Dream on either side of him. Behind them, a small white tent was pitched._ It didn't feel like home, but it was definitely where he was living.

_"Tommy, I can't let you in just because it's Christmas." Dream was saying, voice hard and leaving no room for arguments. Tommy, of course, argued anyway._

_"Why not? You can stay with me the whole time and- I won't do anything, I swear. Ghostbur will keep me out of trouble, I just- I just want to see the tree. Please, Dream."_

_"I will follow Tommy around, I promise." Ghostbur chipped in. Dream only sighed at their words._

_"Tommy. I can't just unexile you for a day- that's Tubbo's job anyways. Why don't you throw a Christmas party here? Puffy got you your own Christmas tree, you could do it."_ Dream sounded ernest as he said that, and Tommy frowned to himself as he watched from the orange. Exile?

_"No one will come." Tommy sighed, resting his chin on his knees. He was gazing out at the ocean, eyes sad and lost._

_"I will come, Tommy." Ghostbur said, turning to his little brother with a naive expression on his face. Tommy huffed out a little empty laugh, and moved one hand to pat wilbur's leg._

_"I know, Wilby."_

_"Look, I've got to get going back to L'Manberg. Fundy wanted to see you, by the way Wilbur." Dream said, and got to his feet in the sand. He stretched his arms up, and looked down at Tommy through his mask. "Why don't you come with us to the Nether and wait for us at the portal? I'm sure we won't be long."_

_Tommy agreed._ The picture paused for a second, and faded to another scene. _Tommy stood a few feet away from the portal hub. He didn't want to get too close, knowing it would make Dream angry, but it hurt to watch him and Wilbur go through without him. Knowing his home, his Tubbo, were so close to him and yet he wasn't allowed there, couldn't even watch from afar, hurt inimaginably._

_He watched Ghostbur and Dream step into the purple mist with a sigh, and then sat down at the edge of the netherrack platform the portal stood on. His feet dangled over the edge, lava a hundred feet below him, and he swung them carelessly. He wasn't sure if he'd even try to save himself if he fell right then. Shaking his head to rid himself of the morbid thought, he leaned back on his hands and looked up. Huh. There was a bit of lava flowing down from the next layer of the Nether. It was kind of beautiful to watch, the lava pulsing red and orange and glowing. It looked nice and warm. He hadn't felt very warm at all recently. Ghostbur said it was because he had too much blue on him, and that he needed to get rid of some of it. God, his brother was strange. He was dead though, so that was a good enough reason for insanity, he supposed._

_He leaned forward a bit, eyes trailing the lava as it flowed down further and further until it reached the ocean of lava beneath him. He started to hum Chirp to himself as he kept staring. It was like it was beckoning at him to get closer, telling him that it would all be okay._

_And maybe it would. Ghostbur was forgiven immediately after his death, and he'd done terrible things. Maybe Tommy would be forgiven if he died, too. Maybe he could go back home if he died. He sure hoped so. The lava looked more and more inviting as he thought. Ghostbur seemed much happier as a ghost too. Only happy memories. Man, if Tommy only had happy memories he'd be so much better. He wouldn't have to think about the cycle of betrayal he was in, or wait for someone to kill him for accidentally making a wrong move. He'd be invincible, and dead, and happy._

_He'd be happy again._

_He glanced down at his belt and took the compass off of it to observe. His Tubbo compass, swirling in all directions from being in the wrong realm, but pointing toward Tubbo nonetheless. He wondered what would happen to the one Tubbo had once Tommy was dead. Would it spin like this, all the time? He'd have to wait and see. Tommy scooted forward slightly, reattached the compass to his belt, and sighed._

_"Down with the revolution, I guess." He muttered, and with that, he let his grip on the netherrack slip, and he fell._

So he was floating in lava, he supposed. That was a rather morbid story, yet he felt unattached to it. He probably should've been crying, but the memory of what he'd watched started to float away from him in the orange already, mere seconds after thinking about it. So ghosts really couldn't remember sad stuff, huh.

"What is your decision, child?"

"I want to stay. I want to go home."


	2. Ghostbur's Blue

"I heard there was a special place, where men could go and emancipate, the tyranny and bloodlust of their rulers..."

A soft voice singing and birds chirping awoke Tommy. He pulled his eyes open with immense effort, and found himself staring up at the blue sky. There wasn't a cloud in sight, just blue and sunshine and birds flying overhead. It was a peacful sight.

"Well this place is true, you needn't... Worry? Is that the lyric? Hm.. No..."

Tommy turned his head toward the voice as it stopped singing, and blinked at the sight of a house made of blue clay. It looked cozy... His eyebrows scrunched up of their own accord, and he looked around some more. What the fuck happened?

As soon as the question crossed his mind, memories filled it. It was like there was a floodgate keeping them away from him, and now that he'd accidentally given them permission to open they were all let free.

_"Down with the revolution, boys. It was never meant to be."_

_"We have no mercy! No mercy for you!"_

_"You're never going to be president, Tommy."_

_"Do you want to be a hero, Tommy? Then die like one!"_

_"Please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."_

_"It's not your time to die yet, Tommy."_

_"Heh, it's never my time to die."_

_"It's not like they want you anyway."_

Tommy snapped out of it, and found himself in a different position than before. He didn't want to think about those things, those memories, those people. Unbidden tears rushed down his cheeks as he frantically looked around, his hands finding their way to his hair as he breathing sped up and the pain continued. That voice was still singing.

"Oh! Oh, it was.. it was _fret_! You needn't fret. Haha, I was such a good writer."

Tommy snapped. A broken sob tore itself free from his chest, and the tears came even faster. He felt like he was holding more and more weight with each memory tumbling down on top of him, memories of the people he thought were his friends betraying him. Over and over and over and over and over again. Nothing but betrayal. That was all he knew. He couldn't take it. He thought dying would fix this! Why did it hurt even worse than before.

"Tommy!" His head snapped up, tears still flowing, and he made eye contact with Ghostbur as he rushed out of his small house. In his hands and in his pockets he carried as much blue as possible, and his grey eyes held nothing but pure, innocent concern.

"Tommy, are you okay? I brought you some blue because I heard you cryi-" Ghostbur cut himself off as he took in Tommy's appearance. Tommy didn't quite understand why, so he looked down at his hands. They were grey, and so was the rest of him. The only colour he could see was the bright orange of the sweater he wore.

"Oh. You're... You're dead too." Ghostbur said quietly, the blue dye in his hands smearing onto his skin as he fidgeted with it.

"Why does it still hurt so bad, Wilby?" Tommy sobbed out, and brought his shaking hands down from his hair to cover his face. "I wanted it to stop- it hasn't."

"I- I don't... I don't remember."

"Was it like this for you?" Tommy asked hopefully, hiccuping on his sadness, "How did you stop it?"

"I- I don't..." Ghostbur looked down at his blue, and a single tear dripped down from his grey eyes, warping some of the blue dye into a sort of paint, "Yes. It was bad. You can- the memories stop if you forget."

"What does that even mean?" Tommy asked desperately, peeking out from behind his hands to make eye contact with his similarly distraught brother.

"Let go of the sadness, Tommy. It feels.." He took a deep breath, "It feels so much better. Take this blue, and let it go."

Tommy let Ghostbur press the dye into his grey hands, and stared at it. He felt nothing at first, the words of betrayal still circling around his mind. But, as he started trying to focus on getting rid of the memories, he felt the pain start to dull. The blue dye seemed to get brighter in his colourless hands as he got more and more numb.

"Have a rest, Tommy. It'll feel better when you wake up." Ghostbur patted him on the shoulder, his eyes no longer full of tears. The older ghost stood up and cleared his throat, before he wandered back into his house.

"For freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these, a victory for all under our... leadership? No. Freedom! Freedom."

Tommy kept letting it go into the blue, and the dye seemed to enlarge in his hands as he just shoved.. Everything out. He just wanted to be happy. He needed to get rid of everything. He didn't think there was a single piece of the Tommy that had lived that was happy. He decided to keep Ghostbur in there, but just Ghostbur. No Wilbur, no Tubbo, no Quackity... He wasn't sure if they deserved to be remembered. Even the good memories brought pain. They just reminded him of the betrayal.

"My L'Manberg..." He whispered along with Ghostbur as he sung, "My L'Manberg."

As the world and his mind continued to numb, he let himself collapse against the wooden wall behind him. He looked back up at the blue sky, and distantly thought to himself.

_Maybe I'm letting go of too much._

And with that, his world turned grey, and he rested.

He could _finally_ start to rest.


	3. The Journey

"Tommy?"

The slight murmur had Tommy's eyes snapping open. He wildly looked around, a panic without cause filling him, only to see his brother crouched in front of him. He then noticed he was sat on the ground, and had no idea how he got there.

"G... Ghostbur?" He mumbled, feeling oddly drowsy. He lifted one grey hand up to his hair and scratched at his head gently. His words caused a smile to appear on his brother's face.

"Hey, did it work? You really made a lot of blue there Toms, so I hope so. Even I did not have that much blue in me." Ghostbur rambled, gesturing behind him to where a small pile of blue dye sat on the ground.

"What?" Tommy asked with a frown. Blue? Did what work? He wanted to verbalise those words to help Ghostbur understand his questioning, but his voice box didn't seem to be cooperating.

For some reason his one-worded question only made Ghostbur smile more.

"It worked. Cool." Ghostbur paused for a second, and then glanced down at Tommy's hands. "Hey, now you are a ghost, can I- Um.. Can I get a hug?"

Tommy continued to frown at his brother, confused. He would take a hug, though. Ghostbur looked sad behind his smile.

"It is- Okay. That is fine. Just, you see... Only ghosts can hug ghosts, and up until now I have been the only- Oof-" Tommy cut Ghostbur off by leaning forward to hug him. Ghostbur was very cold to the touch.

"Tommy, you are so warm!" Tommy wondered why that was. He certainly didn't feel warm at all, but maybe that was because he was giving Ghostbur his warm.

"This is nice, Ghosty." Tommy mumbled, letting his head rest on his brother's shoulder and trying to ignore the awkward position he was putting Ghostbur on. He felt the rumble of Ghostbur's chest as the other ghost chuckled at his words.

"Ghosty?" He repeated, "That is... new."

"Well, part of me wanted to call you Wilby. But that doesn't make sense, does it? Where did I get Wilby from?" Tommy spoke softly. He had started off with a loud 'well', but it filled his chest with unease to be so loud. Maybe.. Maybe being quiet was good. He didn't quite remember, but it just felt better.

"...I do not know Toms." Ghostbur sounded hesitant. "Anyway, um. It's boxing day, you know. I can finally bring you back to L'Manberg! Our vacation is over, I think."

Tommy pulled back to look at Ghostbur. He held eye contact for a split second, but that tight feeling in his chest started again, so his eyeline settled on Ghostbur's right brow.

"What is... L'Manberg?" He asked, and Ghostbur looked confused as well for a second, but his eyes slowly cleared with sad realisation.

"It is our home. You will see. I think you will like the Christmas decorations- I helped to put them up!" Ghostbur gently shrugged Tommy's arms off of him, and slowly stood up to his full height. "Come on, you have got to see."

After he finished talking, he held out a hand to pull Tommy up. The hand hadn't even been outstretched particularly fast, but Tommy flinched on pure instinct, one hand going to his belt to protect something that sat attached to it. He glanced down to see a compass that was glowing slightly purple.

It was silent for a moment, and when Tommy looked back up, Ghostbur's hand was still there, waiting for him. Ghostbur was smiling at him too, but it looked strained. Tommy took it after a moment, and let himself be pulled up.

"Let's.. Let's go." He whispered hesitantly. He didn't let go of Ghostbur's hand. Even though it had scared him when it was held out to him, he found comfort in it now. His brother's touch was comforting, and he found himself not wanting to let go.

Ghostbur nodded, and started to guide him slowly out of the area they were in. As they left, Tommy glanced around at the area. There was a tiny cottage made up of blue terracotta and oak wood, surrounded by a tall fence and accompanied by nothing but a small campfire and a pile of haphazardly stacked barrels.

"Bye Bye Logstedshire." Ghostbur said quietly, and he pulled Tommy along, outside of the fenced area the house sat in. The surrounding area was pretty, a flower field to one side and a forest on the other- it was by the ocean as well. He and Ghostbur must have had a lovely vacation there.

"Was-" Tommy started, but found he had spoken too loudly, "Is that my tent?" He tried again, softer, pointing toward a small structure that was on a hill by the ocean.

"Yes." Ghostbur said simply, and then dragged Tommy to a portal.

The glowing purple of it entranced Tommy immediately, and he reached out to brush the fingers of his free hand against it. A gasp slipped out of his lips at the way it felt. It was hard to describe, but he felt a feeling of giddiness from somewhere deep within himself. Maybe whatever was on the other side of this portal truly was his home, like Ghostbur said.

"Okay. Let us go." Ghostbur said with gentle enthusiasm. He guided Tommy through the portal, and where they appeared on the other side made Tommy's eyes go wide.

Red. There was so much red. And.. And orange. Sizzles and pops could be heard everywhere, and Tommy almost backed up to go back through the portal.

"Whoa! It is okay, Toms." Ghostbur promised, tightening his grip slightly. "The Nether is a bit scary, I know."

With his brother's gentle encouragement, Tommy stepped away from the portal. It was still terrifying, and something about the lava bubbling made him want to stare at it, but instead he just gripped Ghostbur's hand slightly tighter.

"I have got you, do not worry." Ghostbur repeated, and started to guide Tommy carefully across a narrow bridge. The lava was so close. There was something familiar about it, but the tight feeling in his chest started to return as he stared at it.

"Ghosty..." He whimpered, and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Are you okay, Tommy?" Ghostbur kept guiding him forward, and Tommy trusted him to not let him fall into the lake. He was so conflicted over whether he felt comforted or terrified by the orange below him.

"I dunno. It's scary." He admitted, not letting his eyes open for a few more seconds as Ghostbur continued to lead him by the hand.

"Okay. We are here. You are safe. Open your eyes."

Tommy did as he was asked, and found himself face to face with another purple portal. This one felt wrong though.

"I feel like I can't go through it." He muttered, and Ghostbur made a small, hurt noise.

"We have just been on holiday for a while. Maybe your body is just, um, confused. Home is through this portal." Ghostbur assured him, gently putting Tommy's hand in the shimmering purple, as if to show him it was okay.

"Hm.. Home?" Tommy tilted his head, and stared into the purple again. Something felt wrong about it. He knew he shouldn't go through it, he just didn't know why.

But Ghostbur was right. Tommy didn't even remember Logstedshire, and Ghostbur did. Tommy didn't even remember why he was a ghost. That didn't panic him, though, just proved to him that Ghostbur was the one who knew his stuff.

Besides, if he did consider not going through the portal, that would mean letting go of Ghostbur's hand. He really didn't want to do that.

"Yeah, Toms. Home." Ghostbur promised, and with that he guided Tommy through the portal.


	4. Fatherly Introductions

After stepping through the portal, Tommy felt nothing but fear rushing through him. His eyes glanced around on their own accord, as if someone was about to jump out of nowhere and hurt him. His anxiety made no sense. He remembered nothing about this place. It looked lovely though, paths stretching out from each side of the portal.

"Welcome to DreamSMP, Toms." Ghostbur said with a small smile. Tommy frowned at that, and took a hesitant step away from the glowing purple of the portal. Dream. That word stuck out to him. It sounded important.

"I- I thought we were going to.. um.. to Manberg." He whispered to Ghostbur, who squeezed his hand gently in response.

"L'Manberg." The older ghost corrected him, and Tommy nodded, repeating the word to himself at a mutter. He didn't want to offend the townspeople by misnaming their home. That would be an awful first impression. "I am just going to contact Philza."

Tommy tilted his head at the words as Ghostbur gently guided him away from the portal to lean against a nearby tree. Ghostbur reached into his pocket and pulled out some device, only glancing up at Tommy when the young ghost refused to let go of his hand. Something in Tommy panicked at the thought of letting go of his brother, like Ghostbur was his tether to reality, or something.

"It is okay. I am not leaving, I am just-" Ghostbur cut himself off, and instead used the hand that Tommy was gripping to hold the device, using his free hand to interact with it, "I am just telling Philza we are here. You should have a communicator in your pocket, as well."

Tommy frowned down at the device. It was displaying different messages, and he squinted to watch as Ghostbur typed out 'at portal hub. need help. someone to show you.'. But as Tommy read up from that, seeing messages from names he didn't recognise, he saw a message that wasn't from anyone in particular.

_TommyInnit tried to swim in lava._

His stomach lurched, and he screwed his eyes shut again, only to be met with orange behind his eyelids. Did he really die that way? How did he get to the lava? Did someone kill him? He- He scrunched his eyes shut harder, and shoved the thoughts away. He didn't want to think about that. He couldn't.

"Ouch. You are holding my hand too tightly." Ghostbur muttered, re-pocketing his communicator and using his free hand to loosen Tommy's grip. Tommy squinted open his eyes, ashamed to feel tears dripping down his face. "Oh, Toms. You are okay."

Ghostbur promised, and Tommy just leaned in to his brother's side and closed his eyes again. He desperately wanted comfort, but what he wanted it from had already escaped his mind. It didn't matter, he just needed it, and that was okay. His brother was there, and like Ghostbur said, it was okay. He was okay. They were okay. He took a deep breath.

"Ghostbur?" Someone called out from nearby. Ghostbur jolted up from resting against the tree, forcing Tommy out from his position of comfort. Tommy felt shy and weary all of a sudden. He lifted the hand that wasn't gripping onto Ghostbur to wipe at the teartracks on his face.

"Over here!" Ghostbur called, and stepped around the tree slightly, extending his arm so Tommy didn't have to move. "Do not freak out." Ghostbur continued, but was interrupted.

"That makes me want to freak out." The man Ghostbur was talking to sounded happy originally, his words beginning lighthearted, but Tommy guessed that Ghostbur's face was solemn or serious, because the happiness had left the voice by the end of his sentence.

"Yes. Well. Tommy, come here." Ghostbur looked over at him, and gently pulled at their connected hands. Tommy let himself be pulled back to be at Ghostbur's side, revelling in the familial comfort. He looked up to see a blond haired man that was wearing a white and blue striped hat, and royal looking blue clothing. His eyes were bright blue, and they widened drastically as they took in Tommy.

Tommy looked away as they filled with tears, becoming glassy.

"Ghostbur. What happened." The question didn't sound like a question with the way it was said. Barely contained rage dripped from the words, and Tommy cowered slightly into Ghostbur's side. He hoped the man didn't get loud.

"Dadza," Ghostbur sounded so sad, and Tommy wondered if this man was their father, "Tommy does not remember anything. Do you think Tubbo will let him see L'Manberg? He never got to see the lights."

At that Tommy heared what sounded like a choked sob, and he glanced up to see the man in the blue and white hat crouched over with his hands covering his face.

"Tommy, I-" The man started, and looked up at Tommy with desperate eyes. His eyes were searching as they looked into Tommy's grey irises, and didn't seem to find what they were looking for, as the man shook his head and let out some more tears before composing himself. He sniffed, violently wiping at his face, got back up to his full height, and took a step toward the ghosts. "My name is Phil. I'm- I'm your dad."

Tommy's lips parted in shock. Why didn't he remember his father? A small voice deep in his chest whispered _abandoned_ , but he ignored it.

"Hello," He whispered timidly, and Ghostbur squeezed his hand, "I'm sorry I don't remember you."

Phil responded with an incredibly watery smile.

"It's okay, kiddo. You don't have to be sorry. I- I have a lot more to apologise for than you do." Tommy frowned at the words, wondering what had happened. _Abandoned_ , that voice whispered again.

"So can Tommy see L'Manberg?" Ghostbur interjected, looking terribly uncomfortable. He fidgeted with some blue dye in his free hand, before pushing it into one of Phil's. "Also, take some blue, dad, please."

"I'm sure Tommy can see the town. Let's give you a tour, kiddo. How's that sound?" Phil said, and his words were happy, but Tommy noticed how sad the man looked still. His eyes were glassy, and he looked so secretly upset. It triggered some more tears down Tommy's face, for reasons unbeknownst to himself. He blinked them away in frustration, and nodded slightly.

"Okay." He whispered, and said nothing more. If possible, Phil looked even more heartbroken when Tommy offered no more words. Tommy wondered if he was different to how he was when he was alive. He wondered if Phil would mind if he was different now.

"Great."

With that, the trio set off down a wooden path. It felt familiar to walk down, muscle memory alerting him to the turns before Ghostbur even guided his direction, and he tried to place anything he passed in his memories. He couldn't figure any of it out. But, apparently, this was his home.

Maybe he'd find answers there.


End file.
